Knowing what you want can also drive you insane

When I left university, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I knew I definitely did not want to work in psychology or mathematics. One was too hard and the other just didn’t interest me at all. So, as these were the subjects I had studied, where was I going to go from there?

Well, for a few years, nowhere, really. I was working in retail, figuring out what I wanted to do. Studying Japanese on and off, but not doing much else. But magically, I found a course that I thought seemed really interesting, which speared me on to getting the job I am currently in with only a month left to go.

However, even when I got this role, I was still unsure of what I wanted to do. As I stated in a previous post, I knew that I wasn’t attracted to the traditional library roles, and any research roles out there involved a lot of primary research.

So it was hard figuring out what it is. I actually wanted to do, since it wasn’t appearing in my job searches.

However, after being in my current role for a while now, I have come closer to what it is I want to do. I have to say that this role has given me so many opportunities to explore who I am, what I like doing and develop my skillset.

But I’m still in the same position when it comes to finding roles. The perfect/near perfect role doesn’t seem to exist. Even a role that I could work towards.

Maybe I’m being too picky. Maybe the right role doesn’t exist. Maybe I should accept that I have to compromise.

I refuse to accept it though. I do believe that I can either find or create the role that’s right for me. My previous post exactly illustrates where I want to go and what I want to achieve. And whilst I have this idea in my mind, it will never go away. It will roam around in my head and I will never be happy until I at least try to fulfil it.

So, let’s see what changes in a year.

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5 thoughts on “Knowing what you want can also drive you insane

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